Never Said Goodbye
by UpsideDownPB
Summary: Will Monica regret her decisions based on her childhood? Please R
1. Memories

Never Said Goodbye

  
_A/N: This is my first fanfic, and it's CM mainly with some other couples but they aren't really significant to the story, yet anyway. This won't be humorous, so please don't remind me that it isn't. Enjoy._

  
**Chapter One: Memories**

  
_I never complained really. There never seemed much point. They were always nice, good parents. They never showed a real dislike for me, and I'm sure that they loved me in their own way. But Ross was always the "special one." There'd been some problem when he was born, and they called him their "miracle boy." My most common bedtime story was the one entitled "Your Precious Brother's Survival At Birth." I knew that story off by heart by the time I was three years old. _

  
And he never helped. He milked the fact that he was the favourite child. They never admitted that they loved Ross more than they loved me, but it was as obvious as anything. For his fifth birthday they took him to the zoo. For my fifth birthday they took me to my aunts house.

  
I never wanted to seem ungrateful. I turned to food for comfort. By my ninth birthday it was obvious to most that I had a problem. But not my parents. I once heard my dad's friend mentioning that I had put on a lot of weight recently. My dad's reply was "Really?"

  
It sounds silly. Most parents have a favourite. I never had a problem. I was well-looked after, I didn't have to cook my own meals or anything, I was never abused, and I was shown a lot of love. But I was jealous. My brother was a saint in their eyes, and I was just plain Monica. Short, fat, boring Monica.

  
Even at school, the teachers were not impressed by me. I was one of the cleverest in the class, but compared to my brother, who they would have taught two years or so before me, I was average. They had high expectations of me. I did my best, but I didn't get top marks. 75, 80% was nothing compared to my brothers 100%. They tried hard to hide their disappointment, but it was obvious that they wanted more.

  
Social-wise, I was lucky. Rachel Green was friends with me because of our parents, and she was one of the most popular girls in school, even when she was in the lowest grade. I made friends with her friends, and I was never lonely at school. People knew not to comment on my weight problem, because everyone knew that Rachel Green had friends in "high places". I never had problems at school.

  
I wish I could say I had a happy childhood. But the truth is, I was never 100% happy until I met Chandler. Chandler Bing... my husband. He helped me see that I could put my past childhood fears behind me, move on. He made me realise my parents didn't have to affect how I felt about myself. They, without realising it, had given me so little self-confidence, I was a shadow of what I could have been.

  
It all seems so dramatic, doesn't it? My childhood wasn't terrible. I survived. My parents didn't hate me. But still, I hated growing up being second best. I know how it feels to be forgotten about. When we have children, and I'm sure the word is when, and not if, I will make sure my love for them is equal, and that there is a lot of it. Love can be shared 50/50. Not 70/30.

  
We haven't spoken much in the past few years. I've had to distance myself from them, so that I can grow. We probably see each other two or three times a year. I've made amends with Ross. We hated each other as children. Now we're practically best friends. Life couldn't be much better.

  
People tell me that I should make amends with my parents too. They say that they weren't that bad really. But my childhood was miserable. A lot of people spend their adult years with not much contact with their parents. Not because they were horrible people. Just because they didn't get on. I think that's my problem. I just didn't get on with my parents. The contact we have is enough.

  
And I have more important things to worry about. Finally, Chandler and I have something to smile about, after months of agony, wondering if it would ever happen for us. I'm finally pregnant, with our own child. We wanted to adopt, but we felt it could never be the same as having your own child. And with the willpower we have, we overcame our problems and in six months, we will hopefully be parents. Maybe this will be the time when our family will come together again, over the birth of a new family member. __

  
**To be continued...?**

  
_Please review and tell me if you liked this. If people review with good comments, then I will definitely continue. Thanks ^^_


	2. Confrontations

**Chapter Two: Confrontations**

  
_ I'd just like to say I'm really sorry to lobster (and anyone else I may have offended). I was only saying the whole "didn't feel as if they'd be our own child" from Monica's point of view. I definitely don't agree with this but I know people who do. So I'm sorry again. But thanks for the good reviews so far._

  
**Two Years Earlier...**

  
_After serious persuasion from my brother, and from Chandler, who was at that point my fiancé, I decided to invite my parents round for dinner. I was dreading it though. In the past, whenever I had braved my mother and cooked her food, there was always something wrong with it. Too simple. Too complex. Too hot. Too cold. Too much cheese. Not enough vegetables to compliment the chicken. I tried to take it in my stride, tried to tell myself that they were just trying to help. My dad always tried to stick up for me, but he never tried enough. I got the feeling he was scared of my mom._

  
I tried so hard to make the dinner 100% perfect. I cooked the lasagne just the right amount of time. I grated just the right amount of cheese for the sauce. I did everything as well as I could. I put so much effort into the dinner for that evening. All I wanted was some encouragement from my parents, a little compliment. Was that too much to ask?

  
When they arrived everything seemed like it might go smoothly. Chandler and my dad started talking in a pleasant way. My mother was making small talk with me about the neighbours plans to visit England in the near future.

  
I sighed heavily as the time came for the dinner to be served. Ross and Chandler were with me, for moral support I guess, and Chandler looked up expectantly as the oven timer rang. He gave me a smile of encouragement. He had so much faith in me. He loved my food, or so he said, but he always came back from work for lunch, so I took it that he wasn't lying.

  
"Is dinner ready?" my dad asked eagerly. "I'm so hungry. Your mother and I haven't had any breakfast today, because we overslept, what with last night and the..."

  
Ross threw my dad a glare, not wanting him to continue his sentence. My mother went slightly red. I think my dad keeps forgetting that we're his children, and really don't want to know about his sex life anyway. My mind wandered back to the time in London, where my dad mistakenly thought "the tube" meant...well, something else.

  
"Yes, dinner is ready," I replied quietly, not wanting this part to go wrong. Something inside me knew that if my mother was critical again, this day would not end well. I served up the dinner, and sat between Ross and Chandler-again, for moral support.

  
I wanted to laugh as Chandler and Ross over-exagerated the goodness of my cooking. "Mmm Monica, this is delicious!" Chandler declared much too loudly. "I wish you always cooked my meals!" He winked comically at Dad, who looked confused. Although he liked Chandler, he never ever understood his humour. He told me privately once that he thought Chandler could be a bit idiotic at times. I stood up for Chandler, but secretly I agreed, although I like a bit of idiocity once in a while.

  
Ross rubbed his stomach a lot during the meal. "Wow Mon, I am totally loving your cooking," he exclaimed, putting on an odd accent which made it sound all the more fake. But my mother said nothing, yet she cleared her plate. I was amazed. I had never been able to cook something that had pleased her so much that she finished it all.

  
My dad made a few comments about how nice the meat was, but this was not unusual. I was more interested in what my mother had to say, but she was saying nothing at all. I was surprised. But I really wanted to know what she thought of the meal.

  
Ross helped me out. "So Mom, what did you think?" he asked, in a not-so-fake tone of voice this time.

  
My mother nodded. "Mmm. It was lovely darling. Couldn't have been better."

  
I was shocked. I literally couldn't move. Couldn't have been better? Those were the nicest words I had ever heard escape my mothers mouth, that were addressed to me! I smiled at her. "Thanks mom," I said. She smiled back. It was a kind of secret smile. 

  
"Who wants pudding?" I asked. Everyone nodded. Things were going great between us. Everyone was happy. And the pudding seemed to be a complete success. My mom and dad seemed quite at home with us. Finally, I thought. There is real love in this room. It sounded corny. And I should have known it wouldn't last.

  
My mom asked if she could have a private word with me, just before they left. I was busy washing up, but I decided to give her a couple of minutes, so we went into my bedroom. I was preparing myself for some form of "You apartment needs this/that/the other" conversation.

  
"Monica, I'm a little worried about you," my mom began, sitting down on the bed. "I mean, your father and I have always been a little confused by your taste in men. When you started dating Richard...well, that was a shock for us. But we grew to realise that you two were really in love, and it really seemed as if you were meant to be. We were so happy for you darling. He had a good income, he knew how to treat a lady..."

  
I really did not like the way this conversation was going. Through gritted teeth, I said: "And?"

  
"Well... this Chandler... we've always been a little confused by him. We never knew WHY your brother was such good friends with him, and now you two are getting married? Honey-his mother is an author of...erotic novels..." She said this with a look of disgust that was so apparent. "...and his father... is a woman! Are you sure you're doing the right thing by marrying him?"

  
"Mom, I love him," I said simply. "I don't care about his family, his income, his background. I love Chandler for what he is. Who he is. It's not up to you who I marry."

  
My mom sighed. "Look, sweetheart, we've spoken to Richard recently. He's crazy about you still. He always thought you and Chandler would just be a fling. We promised him it wouldn't last, that we'd help you two get back to..."

  
"What?" I exclaimed. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't run my life anymore mom! You can't get involved in my love life! Oh my god... oh my god, I can't believe what you've done!"

  
I walked out of my bedroom, and my mom followed me. Chandler and Ross were talking with my dad, and they looked up when we entered the room.

  
"Dad, I think you're leaving now," I said, opening the door. "It was so nice to have you two come visit, but next time, please warn me if you're going to tell me who to marry. Hey, would you like to name our first child?"

  
My dad looked at my mom. "Judy, I told you not to say anything," he said, looking annoyed. I felt kinda sorry for my dad. It always seemed like he was told what to do by my domineering mother.

  
"Look, you two, I think you should go," Ross said calmly, ushering them out as they got their coats. I didn't even say goodbye. When Ross came back in I slammed the door shut angrily.

  
"They're trying to set me up with Richard behind my back!" I said to Chandler, who looked shocked. "That's right Chandler, they're not as nice as they seem."

  
**Present Day**

  
Monica sat staring at the phone, wondering whether to tell them the good news-that she was three months pregnant. She hadn't spoken to them since Christmas, and that was only very briefly. They attended her wedding-she didn't feel she could not invite them-but they didn't stay for the reception and she barely spoke to them.

  
She shook her head and stood up. There was plenty of time to ring them. She could do it tomorrow.

  
**_To be continued..._**


	3. Too Late?

**Chapter Three: Too Late?**

  
Chandler grabbed Monica's arm. His steady gaze made her feel silly. What was wrong with that moment? Why couldn't she just ring them, and get it over with? Chandler should be the one who was holding a grudge against her parents-after all, it was him who they didn't like, yet he seemed to want her to contact them, to tell them her fantastic news.

  
She smiled. "OK, you win," she said, reaching for the phone. "I guess it can't hurt.. hey, maybe they'll decide they like you after all!" she said hopefully.

  
"I don't care about that," he said, crouching down next to her. "Mon, I know what it's like to lose contact with your parent. It's happened to me with both my parents at some point. But you know what? It'll turn out alright in the end. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you're right. Maybe this will bring us closer together."

  
Monica nodded, and dialled the number that she had spun round and round in her mind for the past few weeks now, wondering whether to ring it. She heard the ringing. Once. Twice. Three times. On the fourth ring it was answered. "Hello?" asked Jack Gellar's voice.

  
"Hi... Dad..." Monica faltered, not really knowing what to say, not wanting to come straight out with the life-changing news. "How are you?"

  
"Monica!" Jack exclaimed, feeling a little emotional. His daughter hadn't rung them for several months. It was always him who had to ring her, or persuade Judy to ring up for a quick word. "I'm very good thank you sweetie, all the better from hearing from you. And yourself?"

  
"Well, that's what I was ringing to tell you about," she said, quickly adding "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. Is.. is mom around? I'd like you both to hear this from me."

  
Jack was confused, obviously, but went to find Judy, who was in the kitchen baking for the dinner they were hosting later on that day. "Judy," he hissed, his hand over the mouth piece of the cordless. "It's Monica. She's got some news for us."

  
Judy couldn't help but smile. No matter what it had appeared to her daughter, she loved her with all her heart and needed to hear from her every now and again to keep her sane. "What kind of news?" she hissed back, drying her hands and then reaching for the phone. Jack shrugged in her direction, then came to stand next to his wife so he could listen to what Monica had to say.

  
"Hi Monica," Judy said, feeling tears pricking in her eyes. "How are you?"

  
Monica breathed in sharply. It was now or never. "Mom... Dad...I'm pregnant!" she screamed, unable to keep it in. All these months of trying for a baby, being told they might never have one... and finally, she was pregnant. Finally, she didn't feel like a freak of nature. She was able to have her own children, wihtout any scientific help. She felt normal.

  
There was silence at the other end, and at first Monica thought that her parents would be cross with her. But then she heard Judy crying, and Jack talking excitedly.

  
"Oh my god Monica! You're pregnant? That's wonderful!" he exclaimed sincerely. "Your mother and I... we're so happy for you. Our little Harmonica Judy! She's going to have a baby! We're going to be grandparents!"

  
Monica decided not to point out at this point that they were already grandparents of two children, Ben and Emma, but instead sighed with relief at the joy of her parents. She was so nervous that they would be angry for some reason.

  
"Monica? Monica, it's you mother," Judy said, her voice catching. "Look, Monica, I just want to... apologise. For what I said... that day. I think... you and Chandler, you're going to ..." She couldn't carry on. She was so happy for her daughter, and so emotional, she couldn't speak. She handed the phone back to Jack.

  
"Monica, your mother is so sorry for what she said. You and Chandler will make wonderful parents, I'm sure of it. WE'RE sure of it," he added as Judy hit him. Monica nodded. Chandler smiled to himself. He was right. He was always right. This baby was going to do more than bring joy to his or her parents. He or she was going to bring the whole family closer together.

  
Monica put the phone down. "They're coming to visit next weekend," she said. "Oh Chandler, she was so sorry. She couldn't stop apologising. I really think she means it." She hugged her husband tightly, knowing she had him to thank for the apologies and the plans to meet. "Chandler, I love you so much, you know that don't you?" she said, unsure.

  
"Of course. I love you too," he said, kissing her on the tip of her nose. "And everything's going to be fine. I promise you," he said, hugging her back. He loved nothing more than making his wife smile. Finally, it looked as if everything was going right for her.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Rachel hugged her friend. "Honey, that's great," she said. "You're finally making it right with your mom. You won't regret it.

  
She knew how much the argument had hurt Monica, and how, deep down, she had missed her mom a lot. She was so happy for Monica, now that everything seemed to be getting better.

  
"Thanks Rache," said Monica, smiling, and patting her stomach. "Who'd have thought that a little foetus would have brought THIS much joy?"

  
Rachel grinned. "You should get Phoebe to write a song about it," she laughed, stroking Monica's stomach. "Or perhaps not."

  
"So, how are things with Ross?" Monica asked gently. "Is he with Emma today?"

  
Rachel sighed. "I don't know Mon," she admitted, answering Monica's first question. "I mean, sure, we are getting on great, we're practically best friends now, but recently... it's just felt like we should really be more than that. He's taken her to Central Park today for a walk. Isn't it hard to believe that she's nearly one year old? That must mean that you've been married nearly two years now."

  
"Two years in a month," Monica said, smiling. It was the happiest day of her life, her wedding day. "What are you planning for Emma's birthday?"

  
"Oh I don't know," said Rachel, in thought. "It has to be something special. Ross is going to get out the camcorder so we can show her the video when she's older. If I were her, I think I'd cringe at her parents making fools of themselves. Poor thing!"

  
"Well, it's this week Rache," Monica laughed. "You'll havw to think quick."

  
Rachel nodded. "Don't you worry Monica. I'll think of something."

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"Emma's crying," Chandler hissed.

  
"Wassamatter?" Monica mumbled, half-asleep.

  
"Emma. She's awake. Oh why did we agree to look after her?" Chandler pretended to be annoyed, but he was secretly thrilled at the chance to practise being a dad. Emma's party had been rather a strange and tiring occasion, and Ross and Rachel felt severely tired afterwards, and Monica and Chandler offered to look after her while they went home to have a rest, and then they would come to Monica's apartment and stay with them the night, so they could be with Emma. Monica was feeling tired out, and had also gone to lie down. It was only 7pm, but it was quite dark and the lack of light made Monica feel sleepy.

  
"Because you love Ross and Rachel?" Monica asked, rolling over. "Go away Chandler, I'm sleeping."

  
Chandler chuckled and went to look after Emma, yawning himself. He wasn't sure why he felt so tired, and then remembered he had got hardly any sleep the previous night, what with his midnight conversation with Monica. Every now and again, when they couldn't sleep for whatever reason, they would talk about anything, from toilet-roll to what they were going to decorate the baby's room with.

  
Chandler looked at his watch. Hardly any time had passed. He gazed down at Emma. Smiling at her, he thought how happy Monica had been lately. Finally, she was getting on with her parents.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"Are you sure they won't mind?" Judy asked, as Jack drove along.

  
"Of course not! And if there's no room at their place, we'll book into a hotel. Come on Judy, it's just what Monica needs. A nice surprise. And we're going to be nice to her. No criticisms. OK?"

  
"Me? Criticise?" Judy looked shocked. "How dare you suggest such a thing Jack!" She patted his arm playfully. "I'm not overly-critical. Am I?"

  
Jack merely grunted in response. He turned to his wife, smiling. "I don't mind," he said. "I love you for what you are Judy. You're a lovely, sensitive woman... even if you are a critical little thing at the same time!"

  
Judy smiled, then turned. A wave of horror passed over her, as she saw the van driving towards them. Jack was still turned looking at her, guessing where the road was. "Jaaaaack..." she cried. As Jack turned, his face turned white. The van kept on coming towards them...

  
_**To be continued...**_

  
I'm sorry about that ending, I'm not very good at writing that sort of thing. I'll make it up to you all by making the rest of it as good as it possibly can be. Thanks for all your nice reviews so far. ^^ 


	4. Regrets

**Chapter Four: Regrets**

  
_**Thank you all so much for the good reviews! I'm sorry that the previous chapter was relatively predictable, but I will try and mix it up a little more. Please keep reading and reviewing. ^^**_

  
_ I had no idea where I was. My head felt heavy and I could feel something warm and sticky on my forehead. I reached up and touched it. Blood. It wasn't profusely bleeding, but I knew I needed help._

  
Things started to come back into place. A car. Monica. Monica-we were going to visit her and Chandler. Was she ill? No... she was pregnant. We were going to have a grandchild. Another one. Judy was crying, she was so happy, she really wanted to make things right with Monica...

  
Judy! She was with me! I turned to look for her and saw her slumped against the car seat, her eyes closed, but I could tell she was breathing. Only just. Was she concussed? I knew I needed help. Reaching for my cellphone, I looked at Judy again. Her breathing seemed to be getting more irregular. I needed help fast.

  
Where was I though? I needed to know. I tried the door in a vague attempt that it would open, and surprisingly it did. The crash wasn't as bad as I thought perhaps. I stepped out, searching for a sign. Anything to give us a hint as to where we were.

  
There were no other veichles around except for the one we collided with. There seemed to be no sign of life from the van, and I was worried for the people or person inside. I quickly rang for an ambulance.

  
I don't remember what I said. I saw some form of sign to show me where I was, but I was more panicked about Judy. They told me... told me to check her pulse, see if she would wake. All the normal things I really should have thought of, if I had been thinking properly.

  
Time passed, and I realised I should have checked the man or woman in the van, to see how they were. When I walked cautiously towards it, I could see that there was only one person in the van. A woman, which surprised me for some reason. Perhaps I... it wasn't important. I tried the door...stuck. It was stuck. I couldn't open it. I kept trying, trying again and again. Nothing would happen! In my frustration I hit the door, but that didn't help. Realising I should be helping someone I could get to, I ran back to Judy. She was breathing. I couldn't wake her. And her breathing was less irregular than it had been.

  
Finally, the ambulance arrived. I was taken aside by a policeman. Could I tell them what happened? I shrugged. To me, it was obvious that it was I who was in the wrong. I hadn't been looking. I took my eyes off the road for a second, and this was what happened. But the policeman seemed to think that it looked as if we were both partly to blame. The van had skidded across on to my side of the road. Maybe it would have happened anyway? I didn't know and I didn't care. I wanted Judy. I needed to be told she was ok.

  
I asked if I could go with her in the ambulance. They agreed, but they were more worried about her than I thought was necessary. She was breathing, wasn't she? Surely she'd be okay. I kept telling myself over and over again. She had to be okay.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
"Night sweetie," Chandler whispered to Monica, as he got into bed beside her. It was almost ten o'clock, but Monica was already asleep. She was so tired from "looking after" Emma, Chandler thought dryly, but he knew the real reason was the pregnancy. It was tiring her out a lot, and Chandler let her rest as much as possible.

  
He was pretty annoyed when the phone rang, and debated leaving it, but decided to grab the bedside phone before it woke up Monica. He coughed and answered angrily. "Good evening?" he grunted.

  
"Chandler? Chandler, it's Jack. Jack Gellar?" He sounded upset. Chandler sat up in bed.

  
"Jack? Hey, what's wrong? Has something happened?"

  
"No... well, yes, actually, yes. It's Judy. She's in hospital... we've had a bad accident... Is Monica there?"

  
"She's asleep," Chandler said. "I'll wake her up though," he added hastily, and gently poked Monica.

  
"What's wrong?" an apparently already awake Monica said. "What's happened to Mom?" She sat up too and grabbed the phone. "Dad? What's... New York.. but.. but we're looking after Emma! Ross... are they back.. yes, yes Ross and Rachel are back, we can leave... yea, Dad, I have to get dressed. Dad, how bad is it?..oh... okay.. 'bye..."

  
Chandler passed Monica some jeans and she hurriedly pulled them on. "He doesn't know how bad she is," Monica whimpered, as she jumped into her jeans. "Oh God Chandler, what if she's-"

  
"Ross!" Chandler hissed. "It's his mother. You need to wake him."

  
Monica stared at Chandler. "I can't. I can't do it. Chandler, you wake him. I'll go get the car ready." Tears were falling down her face.

  
"You're in no fit state to drive," Chandler observed. "Look, I'll go wake Ross and tell him, but you're not driving Mon. I'll drive. Rachel will have to stay here and look after Emma."

  
They went into the main room and found Ross and Rachel sitting on the couch watching a film, cuddled up together. "Hey guys," Ross said. "Wanna join us?"

  
Monica looked at Chandler. Ross saw the tears streaming down Monica's cheeks and jumped up. "What's happened? Monica, are you ok? Is it the baby?"

  
"Ross, your mother's been in a car accident," Chandler quietly explained. "We need to go to the hospital. Rache, will you be okay here on your own with Emma?"

  
Rachel nodded silently. She got up and hugged Monica tightly. "She'll be okay Monica," Rachel assured her. "Don't worry. She'll be fine."

  
Chandler nodded. "Yes, but we have to go. Now," he said, ushering Ross and Monica out of the apartment and into the cold night.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
"Dad!"

  
Jack stood up, trying to smile at his two children, but failing miserably. "Ross. Monica. Chandler," he added, nodding to his son-in-law. "Are you okay?"

  
"How's Mom?" interrupted Monica, tearing off her coat. "Is she awake?"

  
Jack shook his head. He had only seen one doctor who told him that his wife was unconscious. It appeared she had struck her head against something sharp, and Jack couldn't for the life of him think what that might be. "She's unconscious honey," he told Monica, and turned to Ross. "No one will tell me anything more."

  
"They have to!" Monica exclaimed. "Is that all they said?"

  
Jack nodded, as a young Asian doctor walked into the room. "Mr Gellar?"

  
Jack turned, facing the young man. "Yes, that's me. How's Judy?"

  
"Mr Gellar, it appears your wife may have some slight brain damage. It is very difficult to establish exactly what has happened until she comes round. She seems to have hit her head very hard against something, we are not quite sure what yet, but we are continuing to monitor her. At the moment-"

  
"Will she survive?" Monica blurted out, suddenly fearing the worst. Brain damage. That killed, she knew it, or left someone handicapped. She couldn't imagine her mother with a disability. She had to be alright.

  
"At the moment, we do not know what the outcome may be," the doctor continued, as if a robot, programmed what to say. "Let's just wait until she comes round. We will keep you updated, of course."

  
Chandler wanted to hit this man. Show some emotion! part of him yelled, but he kept quiet. He knew that the doctors could not get emotionally involved. The things they had to see in their lifetime could make you go insane if you let yourself care too much.

  
The doctor left the room. Monica hugged Jack tightly. "Dad, what can we do?" she sobbed.

  
"Wait," Jack said monotonously. "That's all we can do."

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
_He seemed to have told himself that Mom wasn't going to make it. Nothing any of us could say would make him change his mind. He wouldn't accept that she could get better at all, and his pessimistic thoughts dampened our spirits. Chandler tried to keep us amused by cracking jokes, and Ross would sometimes laugh, but I just couldn't. All I could think about was Mom._

  
Dad told us at some point that evening that they were coming to visit us. That's why they were driving. To surprise us. To make me feel happy. Dad had been sure that it would have cheered both myself and Mom up if we saw each other. It would have done. Deep down, I missed my parents terribly. I forgave my mom for her going behind my back the minute I heard she was injured. That's always the way, isn't it? You only realise when the worst happens, how much that person really means to you.

  
Sure, she made my childhood unpleasant at times, but what child doesn't go through a rough patch with their parents? All I wanted at that moment was to hug my mom, to tell her I loved her and forgave her, just like she wanted me to. I did aswell. It wasn't made up. I truly did forgive her.

  
Chandler kept telling us to keep smiling, that the news would be good news. The doctor would have told us if we had any need to worry. I tried to believe him, but Dad's misery brought Ross and I down. We feared the worst. 

  
"She had a seatbelt on," Dad kept repeating over and over again. "Seatbelts stop this kind of thing. She didn't hit her head. I never saw her hit her head. What could she have hit her head on?"

  
No one could explain it to him. The police came to talk to him again and they admitted they had no clue what happened, except that they had established that it was not he who was in the wrong, despite the fact that he had admitted taking his eyes off the road. He had not left his side of the road.

  
There was the possibility that the momentum of the crash caused Mom's head to move suddenly and hit against the side of the car. Police were basically telling my dad that that was what had happened. But I didn't care how it happened. I just wanted Mom to be okay. I wanted to know if we were worrying unnecessarily, or whether we should have prepared for the worst.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Two hours had passed since the last visit from a doctor, and nothing had changed. Judy wasn't waking up, and things were looking worse. Doctors said they needed her to wake up in the next two days, as the damage to the brain was unknown. Monica tried to understand all the medical talk, but failed miserably. She didn't want to understand.

  
The door opened, and Monica looked up, ready to take her coffee from Ross, who had just gone to get some. But it wasn't Ross. It was the doctor again.

  
"Mr Gellar... your wife's awake..."

  
**_To be continued..._**

  
_I'm sorry that chapter may have been a bit confusing in parts. I'm really getting in to this now though, I hope you all still like it?! Next chapter up soon, if you want to read more. ^^_


	5. One More Chance?

** Chapter 5: One More Chance?**

  
**_Thanks again for the reviews so far-they've been very helpful. I really don't know how long this fic will go on for, but I'm going to try and make it a bit more interesting, and probably more confusing-sorry if that happens! Please continue reading. ^^ (sorry this took a little longer than the others)_**

  
_The doctor said the next few hours would be crucial. They had to establish just how damaged she was-if at all. I kept hoping and hoping that maybe she just had a really bad headache. While we waited, it gave me a chance to think._

  
My mom had been trying her best. The night of the crash, they were coming to see me. Me, Monica. The one I thought they hated when I was younger. The one who was always shunned while Ross was growing up. And I had gone through so many wasted years of not talking to her. Maybe she was wrong to try and set me up with Richard behind my back, and while I was engaged to Chandler, but she was probably only doing what she thought was best. If I had ever spared the time to sit down with her and explain to her just how much Chandler meant to me, perhaps then she would have understood how in love we were, and still are.

  
I could have lost her. And I would have only had myself to blame. Sure, I didn't make her get in that car and come to see me, but it was my fault. If we had stayed in touch more, she wouldn't have felt the need to come and see me straight away, to check that everything was okay between us. So I blamed myself.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"How's she doing?" Ross asked, passing his father more coffee. It was his fifth cup in the past hour but he needed to keep awake for Judy.

  
"She seems better," Jack said, smiling weakly for the first time in hours. "The doctors seem positive. She hasn't spoken much yet though."

  
Ross nodded, and squeezed Monica's arm as he sat down. She had been biting her nails a lot, something she hadn't done since she was a child, and they were all misshapen and looked rough. She would regret it the next day, Ross thought dryly, and nodded at Chandler who had his arm round Monica.

  
Judy moaned, and Jack moved suddenly, spilling some of his drink. "Is she waking up?" he whispered. Judy had been drifting in and out of consciousness for a while now, but hadn't said anything that made any sense, and hadn't really opened her eyes. Jack was praying, as was everyone else.

  
"I should..go... " Chandler said, sensing he wasn't needed at this point. Only family were allowed in, and Chandler had had to pretend to be another son, as Monica insisted she needed him with her. She had felt weak all of a sudden, unable to cope with all the sudden dramatic events in her life, and Chandler was also worried about his unborn baby. Monica was three months pregnant. It was possibly a dangerous time.

  
Monica nodded, realising that Jack would probably prefer it if it was just his close family. She smiled gratefully at Chandler, and he squeezed her hand before leaving the room.

  
"Judy? Judy..." Jack said gently, encouraging his wife to open her eyes. Slowly they seemed to flutter open, and looked straight into Monica's. Monica could see sadness, tiredness, and an old age that seemed to have crept into her mother without Monica realising. She'd always thought her parents were young, but that night she'd seen a different picture to the one they'd painted. There was fear in her fathers eyes that night, something which she'd never seen before.

  
Monica grabbed Judy's hand, then lessened her grip, afraid that she might hurt her, but Judy clung to Monica desperately. She didn't say anything, but Monica sensed that something had to be said.

  
"Mom," she began, tears falling down her face, as she stroked Judy's hand. "Mom, I love you. I... I forgive you. Completely. We're all here mom," she finished, as Judy made an attempt to move her head. It was obviously very painful for her, as she sunk back into the pillows, and the smallest of smiles crept onto her face.

  
"She seems more aware of things," Jack said, but he sounded worried. He'd also noticed the sudden ageing of Judy, and he hoped it would fade. Perhaps it happened because of the crash. He just wanted her to get better.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Chandler sat waiting outside, wondering what was happening. He knew that Judy was safer now than she had been. It looked to him as if she was waking up, and he guessed that that was a good sign, but then again, he wasn't sure. How could he know? 

  
He stood up as Monica walked out the room. She'd been in there three hours now, which was usually against hospital regulations, but for some reason they had turned a blind eye.

  
"Hey," Monica said, smiling, and she hugged Chandler.

  
"Hey, how is she?" Chandler asked, pulling away for a moment. Monica nodded, smiling. "She's said some thing that makes sense," Monica said. "I suppose that's a good thing."

  
Chandler grinned. "Of course it is Mon," he said, hugging her again. "She'll be fine. You see.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Two Months Later**

  
_ Mom made a full recovery. I thanked everyone who I could think of. Chandler, for getting me through it. He never let me feel negative, no matter how bad it got. And it got bad. There was a time after her "good patch" where she passed through unconscious stages again, and doctors feared she had brain damage, but she suddenly seemed to get better._

  
I felt so cross with myself though. If she had died, I would have wasted all those years of not talking to her. It made me feel sick just thinking about it really.

  
I know things aren't right between us still. My mom isn't completely comfortable around me. I still remember the times when I felt unwanted as a child. That still haunts me. She wasn't the perfect Mom. But she loved me. We both played a part in ruining my childhood years though, and we both need to work to fix it.

  
I feel optimistic though. Everything happens for a reason, as Chandler says. If my Mom hadn't had this accident, I wouldn't have realised how much I would have missed her if she wasn't around. I know we can fix this. We can't bring back my childhood years, but together, we can cry, we can laugh, we can forgive. If I've learnt anything from all this, it's to tell your loved ones how much you love them while they are still around. You never know how much time you've got left with them. Thankfully I learnt this lesson before it was too late.

  
I'm now five months pregnant, and Mom is coming to visit me as much as she can, to give me advice, tell me what to do and what not to do. I don't think I could cope without her, Dad, and of course Chandler. I feel so lucky. Some people don't have anyone. I have three people to love, and who love me. I have Ross. I have Phoebe and Joey. I'm pregnant with the child of the man I love. Not many people can say that.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"Night Monica." Chandler kissed his wife lightly on the forehead. He watched his wife fall asleep, and smiled to himself. He couldn't help but feel a little hypocritical. He was the one who had encouraged his wife to make amends with her parents. She'd got through it. Now it was his turn.

  
He reached for the bedside phone, and dialled that familiar number. He waited for it to be answered.

  
"Dad?...It's Chandler..."

  
_**I could leave it there, but if you'd like me to write a finishing chapter or epilogue, please tell me. And if you really didn't like that chapter, then tell me not to write another! Or maybe you think it finishes well there. Please please please read and review. I've been lucky with reviews so far. Thank you all so much for reading this. Lilian xXx. **_


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